We just got back from a cruise. Not only was it a wonderful vacation, but it was also an eye opening experience. The places that we visited weren’t only beautiful; they also had a sadness attached. As we were riding along in an old, Greyhound bus, the people outside stared up at us. I can only imagine what was going through their minds.

“Oh, those spoiled Americans. I have to accept them because they help our city thrive, but they don’t know how good they have it.”

Meanwhile, those exact same people go home each night to a house that they call a home made out of small 2×4′s and tin trashcans melted together so they’re no longer circular. That’s it. Everything that they own, their family, and their livelihood are in that small, tiny cubicle. It’s almost hard to fathom, them living as they do. I felt almost sick to my stomach to have to go back to my fancy cruise ship of a home for a week and thrive with all of the food I could possibly ever want and ice cream out the back door. I couldn’t help but think,

“What are those people going to have to eat tonight?”

The thought just sickens me. How can we allow people to live like that with the unlimited amounts of resources that we have in the United States? How can we even visit places like that & take such complete advantage of them…& not even know that we’re doing it because we’re so blinded by our own selfishness?

The workers on the cruise ship have it a little better than those who live on the mainland, but not that much. They come from all over the world to work on a cruise ship for opportunity. I recently witnessed a sloppy, inconsiderate family completely trash a booth during the buffet lunch one afternoon. They crumbled crackers all over the ground, spilt milk on the carpet, and, to top it all off, they had the AUDACITY to complain about formal night that evening in the dining room. When the busser walked up to the table after they had left, the look on his face almost drew me to tears. He smiled through it, & looked over at us with an exasperated look on his face. I can’t even begin to imagine what was going through his mind at that moment, what he thought of us.

Americans are so concerned with what’s going on in Washington D.C. and they couldn’t care less about what’s happening in the areas of poverty, not only in our own country, but around the world. I remember recalling that Jesus called us to help those who are in need, not fight incessantly about “who’s going to be the better president” or “why we should be allowed to carry guns into walmart without being harrassed.” What about those kids in our own backyard who sit on their cold floors at home, hungry and only wanting one thing: food? But sure, let’s cut taxes in public schools because we don’t think we should have to pay for the wrong doings of the parents who let their children starve. It infuriates me.

Let me ask you one question. WHO CARES? Who cares?! I’m sure that those who go to sleep hungry tonight could care less if you’re upset about who won the Iowa Caucasus or who topped your “worst person on Facebook” list for the day. America never ceases to be known around the world as the country who has everything but gives little to nothing. When did we become so selfish? Because I sure know that if Jesus were here today, walking around the streets of Washington D.C., Los Angeles, Miami, New York, & heck, even Kansas City, He’d be so disappointed by our actions and lifestyles. Does that not mean? Does it not break your heart? Jesus would be hanging out with those who we constantly tear down and martyr because they don’t fit our “standards of living.” What about those men & women who sacrifice their OWN lives to help make this country a better place? Would you volunteer your life like they do? Or are you too absorbed in your arrogant lives to even consider such a thought?

I know this is harsh. I know thatsome of you will think it’s “unnecessary” to even post, because we have branches of government who’s job it is to take care of people like that. But the truth is, we’re called to love our neighbors as ourselves. If we’re constantly hating those who don’t believe the way we do instead of loving them and taking care of them, what good is that doing? And if we keep turning our heads at the documentaries and commercials that show those men, women, and children in third world countries starving because it’s “uncomfortable to look at” & “that shouldn’t be happening,” what good is that doing? Every 5 seconds, a child in  OUR world dies of hunger. OUR world. Not THE world. OURS. What are you going to do? Think about it. Put your life into perspective. Think about what the true meaning of “What Would Jesus Do” means. Go outside of your comfort zone. Accept everybody. Love everybody. Help those who need you. They need us. All of us. Together.

I have never felt more compelled to pray and write about something more in my entire life than I do right now.
Recently, I have felt that God has been tugging and pulling on my heart more than normal.
Even in these past 3 months, He’s made significant changes in my life. I’m continuously learning what it means to seek His presence and truly understand what it’s like to have a tug on your heart, recognize that it’s from God, and do something about it.
As crazy as this sounds, it’s real life. God wants us more than ever to seek Him.

My pastor recently said,
“The Earth is crying out. Its submitting itself for recovery, but before it can recover, it has to have pain.”

It doesn’t matter if you’re a theologian or if you’re a mathematician, when you sit back and truly think about what’s been happening in the world within the past few days and consider that statement, there’s nothing more true.

When I think about God, my mind goes on an adventure.
I’m constantly amazed by how GREAT His love is for me.

God is MY father. He created me in HIS image. Whatever I’m going through, I’m not alone. I’m never alone! For in Psalm is says that God is close to the brokenhearted. He heals those in need.

During prayer tonight, I felt this tugging on my heart:

God wants us to consume ourselves in His presence. He wants us to come to Him with our problems and with our issues, and also with our thanks. His heart cries out to us. His hands are reaching out to us, shaking with love and surrounded by peace. “Reach out to me, my child!” God says. “Reach out to me, and I will make you new. I want to love you! I want to heal you! You’re beautiful, wonderful, created for a purpose.” He wants us to crawl into His arms of grace and cuddle with security. There is no other God like Him.

What this world needs is God. I can’t say that enough. There are signs and subtle hints all around that God is crying out to us.

“Soon and very soon, I’ll be going to the place He has prepared for me.
There my sin erased, my shameful garden, soon and very soon.
I will be with the one I love. With unveiled face I’ll see Him. There my soul will be satisfied. Soon and very soon.”

I think that often times we forget how truly blessed we are.
How lucky are we to have the God of the universe know us by name and call us His own?
It never ceases to amaze me how often we forget things like that.
We’re never alone. Never.
That, to me, is one of the greatest and most powerful images.
To know that God is always with us, walking next to us when times are rough, walking next to us when we’re celebrating, walking next to us when we are about to give up.

How humbling is it to know that, no matter what, we are all part of a plan. Not a universal kind of plan, but to each our own. An individual plan created by God the Father. The same God who spoke the world into motion. The same God who placed you into existence. The same God who will never give up or let you fall.

Why would we settle for anything less than God’s desire for our lives?
Why do we lack patience and go against God’s will?
Why do we continue to settle for less than we deserve and continuously have broken hearts, when God is standing there with His mighty hands outstretched to you saying,
“My child, I’m here. Let me fix it.”
It’s like we ignore Him.
“That’s too hard. I’d rather learn the hard way,” we say.
When deep down, we want to surrender our hearts over to Him.
And I believe that when we do, He will mold us and challenge us to the greatest of our ability.
It’s OUR job to fulfill His desires, and in return, He will give you what you ask for in your heart.

“Be strong, and of good courage. Be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed. For the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest.”
Joshua 1:9

“See, I have you engraved in the palm of my hand.”
Isaiah 49:16

“The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still.”
Exodus 14:14

“Never will I leave you. Never will I forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:5

“Listen for God’s voice in everything you do and everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track.”
Proverbs 3:6

]]> http://tatagrace.wordpress.com/2011/11/01/outstretched-hands/feed/ 0 tayygrace http://tatagrace.wordpress.com/2011/09/11/ten-years-later/ http://tatagrace.wordpress.com/2011/09/11/ten-years-later/#comments Sun, 11 Sep 2011 05:57:31 +0000 tayygrace http://tatagrace.wordpress.com/?p=276 Continue reading →]]> I remember where I was that morning. Social Studies class. 4th grade. Maranatha Academy.
What we were learning, I can’t remember but what had just happened to our country, I will remember for the rest of my life.

The quiet knock on our classroom door still sends shrills of fear and panic down my spine as I recall it.
My principal walked in, pulled my teacher aside, and quietly said,
“Marcia, we need to talk to you in the hallway please. It’s urgent.”

We all knew that something had happened. Little did we know, that something would change the way we would grow up & the world that we considered “safe.”

The attacks on September 11, 2001 are heartbreaking, terrifying, & aggravating.
This being the 10 year anniversary, television stations all over the airways are playing documentaries, interviews, reenactments, & movies about 9/11.
There are no words.
Emotion doesn’t even begin to cover it.

I pray that God protects our country, and that His hand is upon us.
For the families who lost loved ones, God bless your hearts. You are forever in our hearts & prayers.
For those who survived, but who face severe health constraints & debilitating issues, YOU are our heroes. You saved many lives while risking your own. I know that God is pleased with you. You are wonderful men & women.
To those who survived, we love you. Each and every one of you. May God bless you & your families. You are amazing people.

May we never forget September 11, 2001.

But inside, she screams.
Inside, your mind overpowers.

Her screams are surrounded by fear.
Her fear is excoriated by doubt.
And her doubt is swallowed by confusion.

Knowingly aware of the harmful and disastrous power her binder has, she pushes forward.
Her mind is confident she’s not doing the right thing.
But her heart pushes her to continue.

As she progresses forward, she’s surrounded with the damaging thoughts of her mind.
She’s tempted by the sound of resistance,
to turn around and return to the comfort.

She feels one thing, but thinks another.

Irritated by the constant battle between heart and mind,
she continues.
For she knows the heart is always right.

The mind can be tattered with by the enemy.
But the heart battles no one but itself.

 As she begins to speak to fear, the light at the end of the journey becomes brighter.
Fear dissipates.

Doubt takes over, aware of fear’s sudden disappearance.

She stares doubt in the face, knowing that confidence surpasses the doubted mind.
Doubt is conquered.

She knows that one more is to be conquered.
The strongest one.
Confusion.

Confusion begins to bind her.
She acknowledges its presence, but reverts to her heart.
Which reveals her answer, once again.
Confusion evaporates.

As she enters a new chapter and is welcomed by the light, she is reminded,

“Following your heart will empower you to never close your journey.
Following your mind will bring you to a conclusion.”

Your presence still lingers in the back of my mind
I just wish it would leave
Please PLEASE leave
Because I can’t take this anymore

Life is full of ups & downs. More than anything, it’s about lessons learned. It’s not everyday that you can truly look at someone & tell them that you learned a true lesson that day.
Just when you think that everything is fine, a memory floods your mind.
It’s like a bandaid being ripped off of a newly scabbed wound.
It hurts.
I can feel it bleeding.
The pressure that I apply to control the pulsating veins that continue to pour out hurt, pain, despair, & remorse seems worthless.
I know that soon it’ll stop.
For at least a while.

I don’t understand why things like this happen.
One second you’re the happiest person alive, & then the next you’re crushed.
Literally crushed.

I do know that God has plans for my life.
He vividly showed His mighty hand a few days ago by bringing back English Education to OC.
I know that my life is here now.
As much as it hurts to pull away from my home, I know I am following His will.

& that takes away some of the pain.
It takes away some of the hurt.
It takes away some of the misery.

Not only does it take away, it also gives confidence to know that everything will be alright.
It will be.
It’s going to be hard,
But I know it’s possible.
For with God, all things are possible.

To bring this world to life
To heal this heart of mine
Your grace enough
Your grace enough

To mend this world in need
To break the chains in me
Your grace enough
Now this means love

The weight of all our sin upon His shoulders
That we should all be called
Your sons and daughters

Father
Let heaven and earth collide
In the endless wonder
Of Your love upon the cross
We will follow
And offer this life forever
To see Your love unfold

Adopted as Your own
Alive to make You known
Now this means love
This means love

For the lost and for the broken
For the slave and for the orphan
For everyone to realize Your love

From the famous to the faceless
From the beggar to the king
For everyone to realize Your love

You restore the broken hearted
You bring freedom to the captive
For one and all
Forever this means love

All Your children come together
All Your sons and all Your daughters
Your grace enough
Forever this means love
Singing

Your grace enough
Forever this means love
You gave it all
For one and all
Your grace enough
Forever this means love

I think I’ve switched my major four times since I’ve been at OC. It’s funny how quickly your mind can change; In just 4 months, I have evaluated & reevaluated my future career. I’ve gone from Journalism to History to Elementary Education to English. Picking a major sort of reminds me of life…it takes a lot of effort, but the outcome in the end is beneficial to your existence. You make many decisions in your life, but the only really important thing that matters is your relationship with Jesus Christ. If that’s not spot on, then the rest of your life won’t be as rewarding as you’d like it to be. I love how everything works through God After all, this is His earth & you’re granted permission to live on it. Why not thank Him by living your life to serve Him, right?

I’ve been listening to a lot of deeper music lately. Walking through a music store a few months ago, I heard one of the employees tell a customer that music was his escape from the day to day & the rough times. I kind of shuffled that out of my mind, but clearly it didn’t exactly erase its existence from my memory. Recently, I’ve learned the true meaning of that phrase. Just a few lines of a couple of songs have gotten me through a lot of stress, misery, heartache, & homesickness.

“You’re all I need when I’m holding you tight
If you walk away I will suffer tonight.”

“Father break my heart for what breaks Yours.
Give me open hands and open doors,
and put Your Light in my eyes and let me see,
that my own little world is not about me.”

"We'll give thanks to You
with gratitude,
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You,
how to bless the very sun that warms our face,
If You never send us rain."

“If it’s true, beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, what my life and what’s inside to give Him something to behold.
I want a heart that’s captivating.
I want to hear my Father say:
‘Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see,
Because everything about you is incredible.
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful for me.
Close your eyes,
Look inside.
Let me see the you that you’ve been trying to hide.
Long ago, I made you so very beautiful,
So I ought to know you’re beautiful.’”

I sometimes wish that we didn’t have airbrush technology, plastic surgery, or weight loss pills. The pressure that this society puts on girls to be “beautiful” is ridiculous. What’s your definition of beautiful? God’s definition is YOU.
I’m here to tell you, that if any of you are suffering with a lack of self-confidence, depression, or anxiety…that God loves you more than anything in this entire world, & He would give anything for you. The Bible says that God is beautiful & that we are made in His image, & that, to me, is the greatest compliment anyone could ever give

How many times have you driven past a homeless person standing on the side of the road, holding a broken cardboard sign that reads, “Have lost my job. Have 3 kids, a wife, & no money. God bless all you can give,” & quickly locked your doors, automatically coming to the conclusion that that person is a drug dealer or a criminal of some sort? It’s sad what our world has come to; It’s hard to fathom what we would be like without the pressuring affects of society in our lives. God’s plan for this world was not to increase selfishness or proclaim hate. It was to love, give, care, accept, share, discover, invent, & forgive.
I have a challenge for you all this next week. Take some time out of your day to day life, & do something nice for somebody else. Rather it be paying them attention & asking them how their day is, paying for the car behind you in the drive-thru lane, or offering your coat to a person who is cold. Don’t be afraid to give. If I’ve learned anything since I’ve been at school, it’s to GIVE, LOVE, ACCEPT, & FORGIVE. It may pull you out of your comfort zone, but don’t fret, you’re going to survive. I promise.

One final note. I’m finally starting back up in my music next semester.
And I couldn’t be happier.

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”
-Alexander Graham Bell

I’m beginning to realize how hard it is to move on from situations that will ultimately cause us hurt & despair. My friend, mentor, & big sister told me a few days ago that bitterness is like poison, only affecting the person who partakes in consuming it. Thinking about what she said, the realization really sunk in..harder than I had expected. I don’t understand how people can let jealousy & bitterness rule their entire life. God offers the greatest & most humble hugs & advice, & overlooking Him to focus on people & situations to find a way to raise yourself up, in all reality, has given them a “jump forward & go” card to taking your self-esteem & running wild with it.
One of the hardest things in life is accepting & understanding realization. It sounds intense, but the true intensity of it lives within yourself. When somebody constantly lives to impress others or their own selves, they’re missing the realization of what others see when they look at them. If I’ve learned anything from being with my 2 best friends, it’s the fact that a smile is contagious, laughter helps heal misery, being happy draws people to you instead of pulling them away, & prayer offers answers beyond the human capacity.

On a lighter note, I am SO excited to get to go home Tuesday to be with my family. I miss them.

Precious

There’s nothing better than God’s love. Truly, it’s captivating. As I sit here, worship songs fill my headphones & in the midst of the music & lyrics, you can hear the audience crying out to God, some in desperation, some in remorse, & some in joy. Just knowing that each word that leaves their lips is sent directly to the ears of God sends shivers up my spine, & knowing that He loves each person genuinely captivates my soul. We are each a masterpiece, woven into something special with God’s blessing & a plan. What you do with your life is up to you, but always remember that you were made for a purpose, a purpose you may not understand at the moment, but with faith, move forward under God’s care. Don’t be afraid to make progress. Don’t be afraid to fall. His arms will catch you, & they will help you brush the dirt off of your wounds & continue on with your journey.
Take chances, branch out, believe.

How people don’t believe that there is a God astounds me. Who do you think made the ocean, or the mountains? We were placed here on this world at this particular time to do His work. No matter how busy you may be, or how tired your mind & body are, or how stressed you are, don’t forget to take a glimpse of His masterpiece & thank God for your life, your family, your friends, & this beautiful planet. This earth is full of Jesus, everywhere you look. The trees, the birds, even your best friends.
Go & be blessed, & always remember that you aren’t alone, even in your darkest trials & tribulations.

“The heavens are telling of the glory of God and their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.” -Psalm 19:1

“I trust in You with all I am, I know You have the master plan.”